Below are the phases of enlightenment. I shall continue to update this as I pass further along my journey to enlightenment.
PHASE I: You realize Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy aren't real.
PHASE II: You realize professional wrestling is scripted and not a sport.
PHASE III: You realize that if God exists, every religion on the planet has it WAY wrong.
PHASE IV: You realize that the Republican Party gains it's strength by fooling those who have yet to achieve phase III, and feel good about yourself for being past phase III.
PHASE V: You realize that American politics is more like professional wrestling than you dared to think, and that the Democratic Party is the educated person's favorite wrestler.
PHASE VI: You write off the world as hopeless and look into yourself to find happiness.
PHASE VII: You realize what you've been doing wrong.
PHASE VIII: You finally understand the Truth of the Two Dogs.
PHASE IX: You see fear is the root of what you were doing wrong.
PHASE X: You start to see fear affecting other areas of your life.
PHASE XI: You stop feeding the black dog.
PHASE XII: You realize what's been holding you back.
PHASE XIII: You see the black dog in others.
PHASE XIV: You sympathize, inform, and your realizations make you an example to follow.
PHASE XV: You realize the soul is merely a wet dream of the ego and begin to question the benefit of your morality.