Untitled from 6/4/2000

Will it begin tomorrow, or will I put it off again?
Will I believe my own lies and justify my own failure?

The only thing stopping me from

achieving my dreams
becoming what I want to be
being happy

...is me.

So I struggle. I fight with myself. The person I want to be grapples with the person I've always been.

Whose side am I on?

I'm tired of the fight. Is it just my inability to be happy with who I am? When I become who I want to be, will I still be unhappy with who I am?

I claim each small victory and deny each defeat. Viva la optimism.

I pray that I can seize the day
and that I won't just rot away
May I make memories I won't forget
and climb out of this sea of regret

I wanna be a lightning bug in God's purple canvas sky
 open the jar and let me out, I know that I can fly- 

Me - 6/4/2000 (formatting 4.1.2011)